I thought I had forever…

Just about all of my posts have a photo at the top… this one doesn’t, for a reason…

Pam died before we got a digital camera.

I’m moving to Isabella for my sabbatical — YEA!  

That got me to thinking about moving, and in particular when I moved out of base housing and into an apartment in Omaha.  In order to do it, I took some stuff up to mom’s in Isabella. I rented a van and planned to drive the stuff up. At the last minute, I called Pam to tell her I was going up — 

She was mad, because I hadn’t given her enough notice to get the weekend off.  So, we formulated a plan, she’d leave her car in Duluth — drive the rest of the way with me and Mom, Pam and I would go to Duluth the next day to have lunch and drop Pam at her car so she could go to work.

It was the last time Mom, Pam and I were together.  

I thought we had forever together, at least Pam and I.  I thought that we’d be sisters sharing the challenges of persuading our strong-willed but wonderful mom not to drive, moving her into one of our homes or into an assisted living facility and eventually (our family lives a long, long time) crying at her funeral.

That was July of 2001 — by November 2001, Pam died.  

Siblings aren’t supposed to die in their 30s..  they aren’t supposed to leave their sisters alone to figure out how to be alone at 33 — when the last 30 years you were part of “Patty and Pam”…  When we’d answer to one another’s names, because we were close in age and our family isn’t particular about getting the names of siblings right.  They’re not supposed to rearrange the basic family unit on one sad and terrible Black Friday (yea, she died the day after Thanksgiving).  

I know many people who don’t get along with their siblings — and Pam and I didn’t always get along either.  We fought like only sisters can — complete with low blows and words that hurt like only people who have known you most of your life can use.  

We also talked like people who spent 20 years sharing a bedroom can.  Only Pam would get the full context of “go bug mom” — or “I just stepped in chipmunk / dog poo” can… I have close friends, but nobody that shared my childhood as completely as Pam.

She’d love the idea of moving to Isabella — and, the two of us would have had a great time at the Pine..

I miss her — a lot. 


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