I don’t understand hate…


I’ve been thinking about lots of political issues lately.. in particular same-sex marriage.

I can’t get my head around why anybody would care if two people decided to get married — unless they hate that KIND of person.  That seems to make sense, because it was behind the bans on inter-racial marriages too.

The thing is, I don’t understand the concept of hating a group… or, really individual people.

There are things about the world and the way people interact that I really dislike — and I use the word “hate” on occasion, but really what I’m saying is that I wish X weren’t the way it is.

There are plenty of individual people I don’t care to spend time with — mostly because of the way they impact me (frustration, insecurity or whatever..) — so I choose not to interact with them.  We all make choices about who we spend time with, so I choose not to spend time with these folks if I can help it.  I can’t say that I hate them tho — I simply dislike how they impact me.

I also don’t understand the compulsion to get involved in other people’s’ private decisions.  Who you marry is one, abortion is another.  I’m not secure enough in my world-view to say that abortion is always morally wrong, or that a fetus is a person with the same rights as the mother… and, believe me, I’ve thought about it and taught this topic many times.  I just can’t be sure enough to say to another woman that her decision to abort a child is wrong enough that we need to legislate about it.

I can say that abortion isn’t a choice I could have seen making for myself — but, then again, I didn’t have to face that kind of choice — so I can’t even be sure about ME.  I’ve been lucky that way — not having to make a hard choice is the best option, so I was blessed in that way.

I guess my 43 years on the planet have landed me in a place where I don’t have the need to control others or to put my life choices and values on other folks.  I kinda like this place, maybe others will join me there..



Filed under Applied Ethics

5 responses to “I don’t understand hate…

  1. You don’t understand hate? Or do you mean you hate prejudice? Even you hate things… bad weather, bad smells and so on.

    This a wierd rant.

    • There are lots of things I dislike… and many other things I prefer to theirbalternatives..but it seems to me that hate is in a different category all together… especially those who hate people they don’t even know.

      I suppose I can say that I hate some facts about the world.. that cancer exists or that good people suffer and/ or die… but, I can’t even say that I hate my ex-husband…

  2. Barbara

    I think I understand this. I seem to have some inability to hate. It seems such a powerful feeling, I can’t really get my head round it. There are many things I would like to see differently from time to time, but that’s as far as my negative feeling goes. I can feel sick or disgusted about things, actions, situations, but hate seems much broader, an encompassing feeling, and probably I think always in terms of relativity. I don’t hate bad weather btw, I can thoroughly enjoy its beauty for example…

  3. Leah Tyrrell

    I don’t understand hate either and I dislike that it’s so common in society. Why can’t we all accept people for who they are and move on. It isn’t that difficult it’s quite easy if you keep an open mind.

    I’ve never understood why as a race we kill our own kind and say that people from other areas are lesser than us. Where does this logic come from we all have the same genetic code that makes us human. We all live on the same planet why don’t we just try to get along and accept others for who they are, what they look like, what they do. I don’t understand how that could inspire hate or where the hate even comes from and I never have. As long as someone does something that has no effect on you it shouldn’t be your business, after all what is free will if we aren’t allowed act on it?

    I’m 16 and I’ve only started realising how many people have closed minds and don’t care for each other or the planet and it’s really distressing me. I don’t understand how they can’t, that doesn’t mean I hate them just that I don’t understand where they’re coming from. Sorry rant over I really needed to get that off my chest.

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