Read this — because it’s compelling.
It’s short, it describes one person’s journey from self-loathing to acceptance. It also instructs us as to how to accept someone whose sexuality may not be clear. She gives a short narration about the public face of transition between male and female.
I’m not sure why we need to ask these questions, although maybe the reason is as simple as not wanting to be rude by using a male pronoun when a female pronoun is appropriate.